As 2020 continues, there’ll be many ups and downs to navigate, starting with the upcoming Venus Retrograde in Gemini. In Gemini, Venus’ upcoming Retrograde will deal primarily with the theme of Communication (Gemini) in Relationships (Venus).

What does this mean? The coming months will mark the surefire return of any unfinished romantic or even financial business from way back when. So expect the return of former lovers, friends and romantic partners, brought back to either be resurrected—or finally put to bed. 

While the actual retrograde period lasts from May 13 - June 25, we’ll start to experience its effects on April 9, when Venus enters its pre-Retrograde Shadow phase. The pre-Retrograde Shadow period—from April 9 - May 13—is important because this is our first “taste” of the themes that will come up for reflection during the Retrograde itself.

Both the Libra Full Moon chart and the chart for Venus’ pre-Retrograde Shadow show an overwhelming focus on cultivating connections with others and a keen awareness of any lack thereof.

But the chart (right) for the exact date and time when Venus enters her Pre-Retrograde Shadow on April 9, shows a high level of confusion, impulsiveness and fear when it comes to how to express ourselves “correctly” given the restrictions of our current circumstances.

This creates quite the conundrum when it comes to how, when and to what end we should direct our mental and physical energy when it comes to the pursuit of pleasure, happiness and, in a word—fun. 

It’s crucial to note the placements and angles of the other planets when Venus enters its Shadow, as Venus in Gemini is usually charming and witty, but without other planets in Fixed signs, the climate becomes much less stable to the point of wildly persistent at first yet inconsistent in the long-run. 

So while you’d do well to welcome and appreciate any moments of comic relief you attract, placing any expectations on any interactions or transactions beyond the present moment could lead you down a disappointing path.

In other words, don’t spend that stimulus check the second you get it, or put too much stock in farfetched-sounding promises made by newly-made acquaintances or even personal contacts from the past. 

Maintaining an optimistic approach to any spark of opportunity while maintaining a certain level of cool is key. Or, to put it bluntly—it’s best not to place any high-stakes bets or dwell too much on that random connection with a long-forgotten Ex. 

Venus Pre-Rx Shadow: What Kind of Bugaboo Are You?

In the wake of the Full Moon in Libra on April 7, our focus was abruptly drawn from doing what we need to do for our basic survival—running to Target for toilet paper, figuring out how to do our laundry, or even how to get a daily dose of fresh air—to contemplating beyond the immediacy of the moment.

Thus the combination of the Libra Full Moon on April 7th + the start of Venus’ pre-Retrograde Shadow period in Gemini on April 9th has put us in the middle of a perfect storm—or at least a mild panic—when it comes to our lack of social interaction and the need to address how we’re going to navigate the our future when it comes to meeting our romantic and social needs.

On a larger scale, the Bugaboo phenomenon has been pretty obvious. From the massive influx of “LIVE” videos on social media channels to the morass of emails (oh my god the emails).

Starting with Closure/Reduced Hours notices (“oh no that’s terrible”) to Updates re: Zoom Calls & Classes (“okay, sounds good”) to the onslaught of Newsletters containing notes of camaraderie & compassion yet strangely devoid of content (“that’s very nice, but what is it you want me to, ummm, do?”). 

While most (if not all) of these emails have been well-intentioned, providing information & compassion in response to a totally unforeseen crisis, has anyone else noticed that some of them have become so persistent that it actually feels invasive? Like the emails offering discounts on stuff you like going from “Here’s 10% off!” to “REMINDER—SIGN UP ASAP,” et al.?

How To Shoo a Bugaboo

Well although we can simply “unsubscribe” from those, what do we do with the Bugaboos in our personal lives? Not as easy a question to answer.

Venus symbolizes our power to attract, you’ll find that being overly pushy when it comes to efforts to attract love or money may come across as less friendly than commanding, thereby diminishing our overall appeal.

With so much anxiety, fear & even panic in the air, there’s no doubting that whether it’s the overwhelming fact of being laid off or the prospect of never being able to go to on a date (or even restaurant) again, all of us are acting out in some way or another.

Whether we’re utterly jobless or working remotely, quarantined alone or with significant others, Venus in Gemini + the recent illumination of the Libra Full Moon has turned up the volume, summoning all of our inner Bugaboos. The only question is: What type of Bugaboo are you? 

Traditional Bugaboo

There’s the obvious Bugaboo—the one whose anxiety expresses itself through constant communication. On a personal level, it’s the person in your life who can’t seem to stop texting, calling or DMing to the point where you don’t even open let alone read their messages anymore.

If it’s a family member or friend who’s on your back, try just asking them what’s wrong or how you can help, set aside a designated time to talk.

Or if you’ve done these things already & your daily “you can do this!” text or two is still not enough, just be direct and sympathetic & explain that you need a little less contact, or even a time out.

Taking up any of these tactics will inevitably will work in your favor, as their response will typically make clear whether this Bugaboo is apologetic and willing to chill vs. truly toxic.

The litmus test when it comes time to gauging the level of perceived vs. actual toxicity of the relationship. For example, one obvious clue re: toxicity is simply in the content of their messages.

Is it a slew of stuff that comes in bursts but once you look at it is just a series of observations that leave you cackling with laughter once you read them? Or is it a case of non-stop questions demanding to know “what you’re doing,” “where are you,” and “why are you there”?

While these bugaboos can be intense, they’re ironically the easiest not only to spot but to deal with. Many of this type are self-aware when it comes to their communication compulsions, readily acknowledging & (ideally) apologizing for their tidal wave of texts.

But if they don’t? If they respond angrily or demand to know where you are all the time? Then they’re not very self-aware, are they, and it may be time to re-evaluate. 

Secret Bugaboo

Then there’s the less obvious Bugaboo—the one who engages at a normal (keeping in mind that “normal” is relative) or comfortable level of frequency but leaves you surprisingly drained in a way that you only notice long after the fact.

This is the friend who you keep in touch with without the pressure of the Unmuted, Constant Textaholic.

The one who’s self-directed and practical, who you rarely fight with and may even use a deliberately quiet or soothing voice—who responds dutifully when you ask how they are, yet somehow rarely does the same for you.

The one who texts you for the Netflix password you offered in a moment of weakness but always seems to “forget” to deliver on similar promises. 

They’re your best friend when only when they need something, or with people who share all the same interests and agree with all of their same views. But if neither of the two conditions apply, don’t be surprised when they suddenly become ghosts.

This is the friend who you realize after a while—or in periods of Social Quarantine—whose impetus for conversation is nearly-always to persuade you to do something for them, if not overtly transactional in nature. 

This type may rely on flattery to or copious expressions of thanks, or even keep you updated on the latest News, but when you think about it, when was the last time they made you laugh?

This Bugaboo is tough, because they may take you so for granted that you don’t realize the dynamic that’s developed. Plus, there’s no confronting them, as the Secret Bugaboo is the least self-aware—and in the worst case can be manipulative or subtly sabotaging. Just don’t give them what they want. And if they still pursue contact with you? Be careful, but it’s up to you. 

Silent-But-Deadly Bugaboo

Then there’s the totally silent Bugaboo—this one’s hardest to spot, even if you’re paying attention. Why? They’re the ones who drop off the face of the Earth entirely during times of crisis, not only leaving you hanging but more importantly gives the added anxiety of wondering where or how they are.

This is the “deadbeat dad” of friendships. They ignore you completely, vanish from social media, only to emerge from the ether after weeks or even months of silence.

But if they do resurface it’s typically with a vague yet detailed handmaid's tale citing a recent nervous breakdown or impromptu trip to Europe they forgot about that made them miss your birthday party.

The emotional bottlers in the extreme, the martyrs, the ones who don’t, wont or can’t ask for help. Not to say this is the worst kind of Bugaboo, as many feel so stuck or overwhelmed they become paralyzed, but they’re the consummate avoiders who rarely, if ever, say (or feel) sorry for hurting you.

Paradoxically enough, any friend or loved one involved with this type will often admit it’s just as exhausting trying to connect with the Silent-But-Deadly as it is to ignore the Textaholic. You find yourself asking them what’s wrong constantly to no avail, or worrying about them in the time you could be doing something for yourself.

If they’ve cut you out completely (or you them) then there’s not much you can do. Go through the grief stages, mourn the loss & get on with life without them in it. But in the event you do intend to keep a silent Bugaboo in your life, you’d better be plenty patient, not to mention trusting.

Venus Pre-Retrograde + Gemini = Bugaboo Awareness Month

Now, whether you recognize yourself or someone(s) else as one of these types, keep in mind that everything is context-dependent, and everyone’s more than a little bit vulnerable right now.

So, no matter what type of Bugaboo has been bugging you, the pre-Retrograde phase of Venus is the time to notice, observe and take in whatever comes at you.

At the same time, it might be helpful to take advantage of the current period of social distancing and isolation by taking a moment to note what your go-to “Bugaboo” behavior is. 

Do you run away or ignore people when interpersonal issues arise? Do you cut people out completely at the faintest hint of tension in the air? Do you know how to pick your battles, or do you bottle your emotions until you’re inevitably bursting at the seams? 

Do you think of yourself as someone who’s self-aware and “open to feedback,” but in reality react defensively whenever someone calls you out?

When someone does something you’re not okay with, do you say something to them in the moment, or secretly seethe?

Conversely, if someone brings something that hurts them or affects them negatively to your attention, do you lash out prematurely with a slew of excuses or “below-the-belt” accusations? 

When a conflict or disagreement arises between you and a significant other, do you take a breather, put the person on pause for a few days, or go completely AWOL, refusing to answer even the politest of sentiments or most cursory of questions?

Quarantine brings out all of our extremes when it comes to interpersonal dealings, so why not pay attention not only to what annoys you, but what you can do?

Venus Retrograde (especially in Gemini) is a time to improve your interpersonal style when it comes to communication—a theme that’s almost impossible to avoid anyway given the current social climate.